just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
