dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish you could order shots online.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
