Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
