There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
