its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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