I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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