good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
