everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
