Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
