it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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