I think i sorta joined a cult last night
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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