WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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