I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
