just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Houston, we have a squirter
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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