my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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