Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize