I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize