Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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