dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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