No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
