Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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