Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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