the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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