I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
