I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
