my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
