garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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