Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
