The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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