in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
