I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
