How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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