Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
barbara walters just said penis...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
