I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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