still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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