I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
