you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
