Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
