i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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