Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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