it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize