be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm really busy with my period
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