it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
