Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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