i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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