Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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