So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
