Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
