I feel great
I just peed on a car
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
