i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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