I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I pour the whiskey from now on
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
