Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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