I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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