i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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