so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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