turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sext me about skeletons
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
